Amanda: Welcome to episode one, “To Begin, Begin”.
Vikki: Thank you. Thank you for being here. It's our very first episode and we're nervous and we're clumsy and we're goofy and we're figuring it out and we're doing it anyway. To begin, begin.
Amanda: That's all we can do. So, we thought we would start by first talking about what is “The Farm” and what is Farm2Souls?
And so we're here with Vikki Fraker and I'm Amanda Augustine and we're going to begin by beginning.
What is Revival 356?
Vikki: Woooo, that's a big, big question. So, Revival 356, a lot of people refer to it as “The Farm”. It is a farm in Ball Ground, Georgia, in the North Georgia mountains, and we are a sanctuary.
I like to refer to it as a spiritual retreat where people can get off the world's rhythm and I say “get on God's rhythm”. We're in the country. It's a slower, more intentional rhythm out here. And many, many different people from all over find their way to The Farm. So, it's a very unique setting. And it is way...way far away from the hustle and bustle of most people's lives.
Amanda: It sure is. Of course, I spent a lot of time there.
So first of all, how long has it been around and how did it come to be?
Vikki: Well, with me, it was usually stories within stories within stories. So I'm going to try to just give you an overview of how it came to be.
01:51
Eric and I, my husband, got married later in life. We got married in our 40’s. And I had always had a vision. I'm a country girl. I grew up in rural South Georgia. I loved simple country life. Of course, when I was there, I couldn't wait to get out. And I think when you start to live your life from the second phase or the afternoon of life, as Carl Jung talks about, we have this longing to go back home. It doesn't have to be physically, but it's usually emotionally and spiritually and physically for me. And I knew that I wanted to create a place that was very similar to my childhood in a lot of woods, a lot of the natural world, a lot of animals. And I wanted to spend my life there. And I knew I wanted to share that with a lot of people as well. So when I met Eric, he lived in a country club, not to be confused with the country. And we met and I just said, “oh yeah, no, I'll introduce you to some of my friends. This is, uh, this is not the life…this is not the direction I'm moving in. I'm moving into a simpler, smaller, slower more intentional place in my life, which a lot of animals and a lot of woods is going to be where I want to go.”
Amanda: What did he think about that?
Vikki: Eric is such a beautiful soul. He's such a patient, loving man. He was curious, you know, as Eric is with with most things. He's open minded and he was curious and he was honest and said, “I know nothing about country living. But I can see that you're very clear on that's where you're going and I want to learn more and I want to know more.” So we started looking for a place and we stumbled upon this 27, 28 acre farm. At the time it was in foreclosure so it needed a lot of work. The people didn't live here for a while before we moved in. So it was in need of a lot of love and we made the leap. And we moved in and that was just the beginning of confusion, chaos, you know, just.
Amanda: And you would never know that if you come out to The Farm today because it is such a peaceful, loving place. I can't even imagine chaos that started at all.
Vikki: That's what's interesting is that's what I always like to share with people is how The Farm is now is not the way it started as with most things.
04:41
You know, Eric and I, we did have a vision in mind. At a different time in my life, I was involved with an inner-city ministry. I was part of a program where we fed the homeless people and loved and nurtured them. And I would occasionally find myself going to feed them and I would be drinking with them before our time was over. I struggled with...addiction and alcohol. And it was just this, I was trying really hard to stay sober. But I remember a guy that was in charge of it all looked at me and said, “honey, you went to take the light to someone and they blew your candle out. He said, you were not meant to sit on the front row of this kind of stuff. You are meant to sit further back. I believe you're called to serve those that are serving, not just serve the ones that are most in need.” And so I remember him saying that to me and I was like, “serve those that are serving”… And even though that pissed me off at the time, I was like, I can do this. I can be on the front row. “Nobody can put baby in a corner.” I'm not going to the corner, but it did teach me. It was, it was a huge moment for me to realize that maybe I am not called to just serve people. Maybe I am called to serve the ones that are serving people because I do have a tender heart. I do have a big heart. And sometimes serving people that are in the middle of really, really deep, hard stuff, if you don't at that time have healthy boundaries that could take you out. And so I didn't realize, oh, maybe I'm just supposed to help feed the ones that are feeding other people was what it came down to. And so that stuck with me as we started The Farm. And so originally I thought, and Eric thought too, maybe we'll be a retreat where pastors come or people that are missionaries, people that are on the front lines, who feeds them? Maybe we'll be a place where they can come. So that was originally kind of how we started out. We'll be a place where those that are serving needs…
07:06
Amanda: That’s so interesting because you know, you said it sort of pissed you off. But to me, it gave me chills because I know the experience of The Farm and there is this population of people are healing that are living their life persevering and doing the hard stuff and they do need support. You know, they they aren't able to do it all without without that support. So it gave me chills because I'm one of those people, right? I'm a mother, I'm a wife, I'm a career woman. I pretend to do it all, but inside there's still that need to be supported and to be heard. And when you come out to The Farm, that's the space that it is, that you hold space for people that need that healing.
Vikki: So isn't it interesting that now this is the way I serve those that are serving? So now it is a lot of women, men do come out to The Farm, but it's mostly women who are just like you described, who are lost in their life, who are doing all the things and giving everything to everybody and who have nothing left for themselves. And they need to be fed, they are struggling, they are hurting. And so this is a place where people can come, reset, refuel, fill up, and go back to their life and do what they do. So in a roundabout way, that whole inner-city ministry thing was one of the greatest gifts because it did help me lead to understand what my purpose was and what my gifts were in a deeper way.
Amanda: If you hadn't been led in this direction, like where would we all be without Vikki Fraker?
Vikki: Oh God. It's funny that you say that because the deepest message of The Farm. Well, first, our mission statement is “to be a sanctuary where the soul is reminded of its worth, where people are awakened to a life of purpose and presence by remembering all God created them to be.” And so, the deep message of The Farm when people come out, as I was at one time in my life, we're looking for someone to tell us what we need to do. Tell me what I need to do to experience peace, joy, purpose, whatever it is, tell me what to do. And one of the first things when people come out, I just remind them everything they need is in their heart. If someone thinks they have something you need, you need to run. I would never pretend to have what anybody needs.
Amanda: Yeah, and you're always so clear about that. To people that first come out, honestly that that kind of pisses them off.
Vikki: I know it does because it pissed me off. So I'll talk a lot about Pat. Pat is my therapist and mentor and we'll have her on our podcast, hopefully really soon. Um, as I share more of my story and, and how that has equipped me to now have the sanctuary and, and hold space for so many people to come out. But that was one of the things Pat said to me is, “God did not give me your answers. Your answers lie in your heart. And until you take the inward journey and get still and go within, it's just a watered down version of somebody else's experience, but it's not what you necessarily need.” Now that doesn't mean that we don't need some wisdom and guidance from other people, but hopefully through other people sharing their wisdom and guidance, that opens up the door inward to help us find our own path, direction, answers, whatever it is. And so yes, we're created to need each other. That's what The Farm is, that's what community is. And yet that can never take the place of maybe being inspired and guided by someone or something and then spending some time in stillness and going within and seeing how that resonates deep in your heart and soul.
11:20
Amanda: Yeah, and it doesn't happen overnight. I think when I started coming out to The Farm and coming to Signpost Saturdays, which we'll talk a little bit about too, but fast forward three, four years, and it was probably a good two years in before I really started internalizing a lot of the messages and just what I was learning and hearing and just being able to take that and apply it to my life. And I do feel like I'm finally in a place where, you know, I do look inward first. It's hard, but it's where you start. You've taught me that. And yeah, but it's a process, right? It's a little scary and it does piss you off in the beginning, but you do realize, yeah, it all falls on you.
Vikki: So let me start sharing a little bit about what The Farm is maybe. A little bit more of the backdrop of what The Farm is. I struggled with many, many things in my life. I was an athlete in the beginning stages of my life. And my outward external self was who I was. It was my identity. It was what the sum total of who I believed I was. There was a lot of pain and suffering in that. I struggled with many things that I'll go into detail about, but mainly alcoholism and bulimia and steroids. But through several attempts and about 20 years, eventually I got sober and ended up in a mental institution, but met a woman there who is now my counselor. She was my counselor there. And really it changed the direction of my life of doing the inner journey, the internal healing. But originally, I started going to recovery meetings. My first time in rehab, I was 19 years old. So I'm 58 years old now, so I have some experience and age, and it's all a beautiful thing. But the first time I was in rehab, I was 19 years old. So I was exposed to recovery meetings. And I could remember first going into recovery, going into AA meetings and even though I resisted, I thought everybody needed to be there but me, they were jacked up people, I didn't belong. Over time, I could sense there was something going on in those rooms that was unexplainable, that was indescribable. There was a love that was happening in those rooms. And then of course, I...spent many years back drinking again. But I never forgot the feeling of just experiencing healing really going on by just being in the rooms of AA. And so it's so interesting how all these little pieces that we experience in life as we become older, you can see they were actually forming something beautiful back then, but we didn't have the experience to actually understand what was going on. But it's so interesting because just like in that inner-city ministry and that pastor saying to me, oh, you're called to serve those that are serving. It's so interesting how things are imprinted on our heart. And when there our truth and they're where our soul wants to take us, we don't forget those things. And so I never forgot the experience and the love and the something that was in those rooms of recovery, even though I went back out and used and all of that. So fast forward when I knew I was going to go back to a rural type living, country living that I just could not hang out in the world the way the world was, just the fastness, the intensity, the distractions, it just was too much for my soul. I knew that I wanted for people to come and experience something similar that I experienced in those rooms of recovery. I didn't know how it was going to happen. I didn't know what it looked like but I just knew that I wanted to create a space in the natural world that didn't have the distractions and the internet and the phones going off, where people could be a part of something bigger going on. Whether it was through groups or conversations, that they could witness maybe someone else experiencing some healing. Does that make sense? Sometimes I can go off on tangents.
Amanda: No, I just, I've seen it firsthand. So to me, you know, everything you're saying makes complete sense because it is impactful and it is a place where people can get off of the world's rhythm, get on God's rhythm and just go deep. You know, what do you say? Deep, not wide.
17:02
Vikki: Yeah. I love to see when people pull up and you know, right when you pull up, the horses are out and you see the goats and dogs come running out to greet you. And there's this long gravel road and I can tell the people that really get it because tears start streaming down their face before they even make it to the barn. And I have so many people that just say like, “what, what is this? I'm not a crier. What's going on?” And it's not necessarily the beauty of the stillness of, you know, just The Farm, it's more that they find themselves starting to get still. And as you slow down your thinking, that just mind that's always going, you slow that down. What is inside of you starts coming to the surface. And usually it's tears. And so it's a beautiful thing…
You know, we started book studies and groups and I can remember the very first group that I started when we were trying to figure out what The Farm was and how we were going to share it. I thought I would get some friends together for a book study and so I called it a Bible study.
Amanda: Oh, Vikki.
Vikki: So, I had some friends from...the church community and I invited them and I had friends from my spiritual world and I invited them and I brought us all together and just thought because I've always loved bringing people together of different cultures, different faiths, different beliefs. That's just what I love. That's what the rooms of AA are by the way. That's what makes the love in there, is everybody's honest. Everybody like you can't bullshit a bullshitter is what they say in AA. This isn't about wearing masks or labels. Nobody gives a shit what you've done, who you are. It's like, look, I'm struggling and I'm here because I need help. So it's on.
Amanda: Isn't that like what a lot of people just want? Like just to be seen and, you know, we're all struggling. We're all struggling.
Vikki: But there's very few places where people can go and really, really stand in the truth of who they are. And so again, that's, that's, I just.
Amanda: So how did it go with the, with the, with the Bible study?
Vikki: Well, we were actually in it for a while and it went well until it didn't. And again, it was just, it was trying to bring different people together with, you know, different beliefs and it did, it went well for a while and then it didn't, which was frustrating. And yet it also, it gave me clarity of knowing what direction I was not going to go in, which helped me figure out what direction I was going to go in.
Amanda: Well, what I love too, when you come out to The Farm, you're always reminding everybody that there's different words that trigger certain people right. And so it's not about labels. It's not about whether you're a Christian or not a Christian or what your beliefs are. It's where you are, it's whoever you are. So you do a good job of that, of just bringing people to a place where they can just be comfortable. Like, you know, it's not heavily religious or it's, you know, not skewed in one way or another. It's just, you can just be yourself. That's important.
20:42
Vikki: Again, that's what I learned, you know, in the rooms of AA. I grew up, you know, in the South, you know, in the Bible Belt. And I experienced how religion can be used to hurt people and I knew I did not want that, but yet I always had this spiritual longing for this deep reverent connection of all of life and all of people. I knew I wanted The Farm to be a place where there wasn't an undercurrent of a hidden agenda of “I think I'm here to save you” because I know how hurtful that is and I knew I didn't want that. And so one of the things, you know, when people want to know, what is your credo? Somebody asked me that. I did not know what a credo was. I'm like, “love”. I don't, I don't know what that means, but, um, my agenda really is to love people. Um, that really is it. I don't have an agenda of thinking I need to save them or get them to pray some prayer or my heart really is to love people where they are. So after many attempts of trying to get sober and not doing it, I met Pat in a mental institution and what she did was love me where I was at with no agenda. She didn't pray some prayer you know, she didn’t tell me I needed to read some more doctrine. She just modeled how she loved herself. She had done a lot of healing work. So she set healthy boundaries because I had none. So I needed to know what a healthy boundary looked like, but she really did just love me until I could learn to love myself. That's saying. And so now when people come out, I really do want to, um, of course I know how to set healthy boundaries and understand where I end and others begin, but I really just do want to love people.
Amanda: Yeah, and you hold space for people like I've never seen anybody do. You just do.
Vikki: Again, I think that's what I learned in “the rooms” and I think that's what Pat did for me because most interactions we have, people want something from us or you want something from someone doesn't matter if it's a stranger, that's just kind of the dynamics of the way life is set up. But to start practicing just really seeing someone for where they are and just loving them without feeling that you need to give them something or take them somewhere that you think they need to go, but just really loving them. Actually, in doing that, I believe both people start healing. It's a powerful thing. And that's just...some of the beginning things that, um, I would love to share about The Farm.
Amanda: Yeah. I mean, we have so much to talk about. That's, you know, why this podcast is, is being born and why we're beginning where we are. Um, so we have a lot, you know, lots of, lots of episodes to talk about more, but what I do want to shift and talk about, um, is what is Farm2Souls? Because, you know, we know now how Revival got established and started now. Like how did Farm2Souls come to be? What, what is this whole piece of, of the puzzle?
Vikki: Yeah. So, so right when COVID hit, um, my dear friend Amber called me and said, like, you know, basically she was struggling with isolation and she wanted me to do some virtual stuff and some online stuff and I just busted out laughing and was very close-minded and said, “oh honey, you know, what happens at The Farm is very special and that can't be duplicated online.” That can't be duplicated. Sorry. I lost my train of thought. That can't be duplicated. Just the thought of going online scares me.
Amanda: The inner webs.
Vikki: Vikki and the inner webs. Vkki and the inner webs. But it just, I just, I was, I closed down because again, I just think you have to come to The Farm and experience it. And it's, there's really something there but as then COVID continued and I saw people were really locked down for long periods of time.
Amanda: We couldn't get out to The Farm Vikki. What were we going to do? Dying over here, you know?
25:34
Vikki: Yeah. So I don't know. I just, I, I, you know, I talk a lot about staying open and staying curious and childlike and I was doing the opposite of saying “no” to the internet. And but anyway, Amber persisted and we started doing some stuff on this thing called Zoom that I had just heard about. And we started gathering these women and I just really, uh, the same principles that naturally I share at The Farm. We just used, uh, on the virtual platform and women started showing up and women started telling other women. And it, there was a little bit of traction and excitement around this virtual thing. And so we started “farm the number two souls” and that is taking everything we do at The Farm outward in the virtual world to other souls. And that's actually how we met you indirectly. So you want to share a little bit about that?
Amanda: Yeah, sure. Yeah. So like many people during COVID, you know, you're feeling pretty isolated. And of course I had been coming to The Farm leading up to that point…I live about 45 minutes away, so it's not always easy for me to get out here. But yeah, I started doing the stuff online. Figured why not, you know, stay connected. And it was just as impactful. Like I was even surprised. Like you know, you come out to The Farm, it's this beautiful setting, you know, how can you possibly recreate that? But you hold space, you hold space on Zoom, you know, and women show up and women are listening to other women talk about what it's like to be them and their hardships. And there's so much healing that goes on that I was even surprised. But how it all came to be, that's what I do in my day job. I do digital marketing and I've got a graphic design background and thought “I really just wanna try to figure out how I can get plugged in to help them with this virtual stuff.” Cause you talk about the inner webs and I know you're not.
Vikki: We were struggling. It was clear though, even for people in that community that you could see you know whether it was social media or just the way we were doing things…
Amanda: But they were so patient and because they loved what was happening and they they wanted more of it and so yeah, I just decided hey, I really want to I want to get plugged in I want to help any way I can and so that's how it started. Yeah, so here we are recording a podcast now what??
Vikki: That is so awesome. So Amber lives in South Carolina and so Farm2Souls is Amber, Amanda and myself, Vikki and Amanda.
Amanda: Amber is not here with us today, but she will be.
Vikki: She will be, she will be, but we're gonna just share some conversation about all of this. And I look forward to sharing more about Farm2Souls and about The Farm and just sharing some stories of…
Amanda: Oh, and there's some good ones. There's some really good ones.
Vikki: The country life and the spiritual life and the sanctuary and all that goes on out here.
Amanda: It's amazing and it's beautiful. So we're going to have other episodes and so we hope you'll tune in. But if you would like to find us now, you can visit farm2souls.com. Again, it's farm, the number two, souls.com. And you can sign up for email updates there or feel free to join us on social. You can find us there as well on Instagram and Facebook at Farm to Souls.
Vikki: Thank you, Amanda.
Amanda: Love you, Vikki.
Vikki: Love you too, boo.
29:21 - END
