Vicki says we always have a choice in most things
>> Vikki: M.
>> Bailey Moreland: Hey there. Welcome to from the holler, the podcast, where we have intentional, deep, vulnerable conversations infused with ancient wisdom, spiritual principles, and a little bit of laughter. Join us on this journey of learning and unlearning as we come home to our, truest, most authentic selves.
>> Vikki: The world can feel like it is almost like a riptide that we. That pulls us out into the sea and we don't have a choice. But I am just here to remind you, we always have a choice in most things. Sometimes we set up our life where we're between a rock and a hard place, and we tell ourselves we don't have a choice. But we are free human beings. And one of the things we have is the power to choose. So we do have the power to choose. And there is a rhythm to the world. There is a hurried fast. I, say, kick ass and take names, plow people over. There is a fast, fast pace to the world. So then we have to ask ourselves, what do I do to get off the world's rhythm? Then what do I choose to do to get off the world's rhythm? If that is true, culture has set a pace out there, and I know that I was not created for that pace, then what do I do?
>> Amanda: Yeah, and then you could also argue that there is no extra time beyond the world's pace to get all the things that I need to get done for there to be any leftover for my pace or God's pace. Right? So I'll just keep challenging that, because, I mean, that's. That's the truth. There's some days I'm like, you know, Vicki says all the time, get off the world's rhythm. well, you know what? There's no other rhythm. Yeah.
>> Vikki: And sometimes, I mean, it's not. Again, I always say, I'm not sitting out in a teepee, like, meditating all day. You know, I have shit to do. I mean, I do, too, but I'm not gonna let that be an excuse or a reason that day after day after day, I sell my soul so I can keep up with some fast paced rhythm that somebody else has decided. That doesn't mean that we don't have duties and responsibilities, but if we set our life up to play that race, you will never win. It is a race designed to take you out, but to trick you into thinking you're gonna win.
>> Amanda: Oh, there's tons of trickery in it, and there's tons of trickery in list making, because as I love being a list maker, I realized the list never ends. So what kind of game am I.
>> Vikki: Playing with my, but, like, our mind goes to those extremes. It doesn't mean that we don't need to make lists, but when we make lists with absolutes, we're not free. And when you're not free, in a way, to bring some space and joy to your lists, it will become so painful and filled with so much suffering, and then you will trick yourself into making lists the next day. And so before you know it, it's like you have, you have walked into prison. You hold the key, by the way, but you have walked into prison and locked yourself in. Like, we don't have to buy into that lie. And that doesn't mean that we don't have a lot of things that we have to get done in a day. There's some ancient wisdom that I absolutely love, and it clearly states to me that there is a pattern of this world, and it says, be careful to conform to a pattern of this world. And I believe that culture does that. You know, society does that. Our upbringing can do that, religion can do that, that it can set a pattern. And then we think that we have to follow a pattern that m somebody has set for us, and we forget that we are powerful human beings with the ability to choose, because usually when we're following somebody else's rhythm, we're going to become pissed off, resentful, and angry eventually.
>> Amanda: Yeah. Yeah.
Amanda: We create the pace internally, we create the systems internally
And so Bailey brought up something to you. I so badly want to step off the rat wheel, I often feel the tension between my desire to slow down and my deep addiction to productivity. That girl, Bailey and me, we're, like, in a lot of ways, it's, it's like you, you feel like you can't step off, because if you step off the rat wheel, shit's gonna go.
>> Vikki: South really fast, because that's a myth. That's a lie. That is not true. You have told yourself that. And if you think it's true, it's because maybe you have created systems so that you are supposedly needing, needed in all aspects, which is really another word for control. There's something powerful here, Amanda. There is something powerful where we have to be willing to look at the deeper thing going on here. And so if, if we're not willing to look at the deeper thing going on, we will just stay stuck, and everybody needs me. The world's moving fast. I got to move fast with it. And it's like, oh, okay, well, if that is your truth, rock on. But the deeper thing going on, I believe, is to remember that we create the pace internally, we create the systems internally. And what I mean by that is by what we tell ourselves. If you tell yourself you're missing out and you got to go faster or you got to get, or you got to do, then you're going to speed up. But you can also acknowledge, I feel like I've got a lot of pressure on me. I feel like I have created my life so that I'm needed in all places, all the time. And I've got to get honest that that's not sustainable. And I actually did that from a place of woundedness that I needed to be needed. So I created my life where everybody needs me.
>> Amanda: Mic drop. But that is. It's exactly what it is. That's it.
>> Vikki: But here's the beautiful thing. You created it. You can create something different. But if you're going to create something different, you gotta be willing to let go of some control.
>> Amanda: Now. Now that might be, that might be a little bit of a talk order, but I get where I can be conscious of it, right? I can just start recognizing, because here's.
>> Vikki: Then the lie that we tell ourselves. I just might as well do it all because I'm gonna have to do more if I let everybody do the stuff and they don't do it the right way.
>> Amanda: Do you live in my head?
>> Vikki: But it's the truth. I have been there where then I tell myself a lie on top of the lie that keeps me stuck in suffering.
>> Amanda: Hey there, beautiful souls.
>> Amanda: It's Amanda here. Are you ready to embark on a journey of self discovery and healing? Dive deep into your inner child with Vicki's latest workbook, reconnecting to the little girl within. Through eight transformative chapters, you'll heal past wounds, rediscover your authentic self and unleash your inner light. Get your copy on Amazon today. You'll find the link in the show notes. And remember, healing begins from within.
If you are struggling with codependency, dysfunction, let go
Okay, back to our episode.
>> Amanda: All right, so how do we start dissecting that? Like, where do we start with that?
>> Vikki: Well, I think just having a conversation about getting honest. Can you see? Are you willing to look at some of the. I'll just say it. Lies that you have told yourself that are, ah, making you crazy. And if you're willing to open that up and say, I created this, but I cannot sustain this, so I am ready to do something different, then that is where you start letting go. That is where you start letting go. And I believe it doesn't have to be done in a way that is violent.
>> Amanda: I'm done doing laundry, done cooking, and y'all can have no clothes.
>> Vikki: Again, I don't think it. And I don't mean violent to other people. Interesting that you said that. I meant violent to yourself. Oh, there was that.
>> Amanda: Yes.
>> Vikki: I'm not talking about doing people's laundry, at course. That's not what I'm talking about. I am talking about if you have struggled with codependency, dysfunction and control most of your life, and you're really ready to get honest and to do some things differently, I believe that the kindest way you can do that is to take small steps of moving in the opposite direction. So again, just to come along and violently rip everything apart that you've done to me does not feel compassionate. And if you've been out to the farm or you listen to me or you have any, you know, my way is the compassionate way. So I don't believe that is a very compassionate thing to do. But I do think taking steps in the opposite direction is needed to start loosening the grip and letting go in areas that are way, way overdue, way past time.
>> Vikki: Of doing things. Doing things for others that they. They need to be doing themselves.
>> Amanda: Low hanging fruit. Like, what can I offload? What. What really don't I need to be responsible for anymore? What can I take off my list and put in somebody else's list?
>> Vikki: Yes, that's the external choices. And then I believe the internal choices are, how can I be compassionate with myself as I deal with my feelings that this is very different. Being in control versus letting go is very different. So how can I comfort myself in this different place? So this. This feeling, this choice, this action will last and I won't just slingshot back.
>> Amanda: Yeah. Like when you step off, you step off the rat wheel. What's going to keep me from stepping back on? Because of the uncomfortableness of it. So how do I.
>> Vikki: You sit with the uncomfortable. That's it.
>> Amanda: You feel it, right?
>> Vikki: You feel it. You sit with it. You let people fail. You let other people make mistakes. You let dirty clothes or whatever, those things that's cringey or.
>> Amanda: Or you continue to suffer.
>> Vikki: You continue to suffer on a deep soul level that steals your joy and that ultimately steals your life. And then I believe that also enables people to not do things for themselves that they could do.
>> Amanda: Spills over.
>> Vikki: It all spills over. What is inside is what comes out.
Getting off the rat wheel starts with the lies we tell ourselves about the world
So again, didn't we start this off talking about getting off the world's rhythm?
>> Amanda: yeah. Getting off that rat wheel and how do you do that? And it's all within. It's all just starts with the lies we tell ourselves about the rat wheel, and then how. And I like to go back, though, in trying to incorporate some of what I've learned through you, Vicki. And that is, how do I invite those small moments in my day that can help me feel like I'm not on that rat wheel and still have those moments throughout my day where I can connect with myself and really feel the power of stillness?
>> Vikki: So, for someone who is a career person, who is a mom, who is all the things, how do you do that, Amanda?
>> Amanda: Well, for me, and it has only been consistently over the last couple of years, but I put a walk on my calendar every single day. A walk in the woods. it doesn't happen every day. I'm gentle with myself. Some days I just don't do it. But it just reminds me that I am in control because I've got all these things on my calendar throughout the day, and I've got to be here and be in these meetings. But that always just reminds me that I'm still in control. And what I need, I can take care of myself and do. And then I'm also, you know, I love to do more art. And so I've been trying to, invite little moments of art, on the weekends or when I can fit it in.
>> Vikki: But can we go back to the control part?
>> Amanda: Oh, sure. What did I control? Oh, that I'm in control. See?
>> Vikki: See?
>> Amanda: Yeah, there you go. I didn't even notice I said that.
>> Vikki: How, beautiful is that? So you can see that is the underlying.
>> Amanda: Oh, man.
>> Vikki: No, but it's a perfect, beautiful thing, Amanda, because I believe you can see that it is almost like a survival for you. And again, this could be a conversation for another day. But I believe that somewhere, that little girl inside of you somewhere needs protected or needed protected, and you didn't feel protected. Therefore, things were out of control. So now, as you're an adult, you've set up your life, so you're in control, not just because you're a, b ot and you want to control everybody, but there really is a wounded part in you that is, like, if it's okay to say, is just has such a longing for protection and to know that you're going to be okay. Therefore, you've set your life up in a way so that you can protect yourself. And that's where I'd say, you know, sweetheart, you're protected. You don't have to do the over controlling of all the things to know. You're protected. You are protected. And I actually think that's what that walk in that woods really does remind you that you are powerful and can make choices and you can protect and take care of yourself. Therefore, you know, you need a walk in the woods daily.
>> Amanda: Wow. You are so incredible. You just, you know, you hear one little word, my response, here I am, I'm cured. I'm healed. I'm kidding, of course. But I love how, how you can unpack, all of that so beautifully without making me feel like I'm less than. Like it's just a part of who I am and I'm learning to outgrow it and just to be able to recognize that and just to be able to say to myself, yeah, that's the reason I take that walk in the woods. Not because I feel like I've earned it or I deserve it or I need to get it in or, you know, it ticks off a box, but I. Because it does, it does all of those things for me. So thank you.
>> Vikki: Yeah, yeah. Compassion is the way. If we use violence to try to knock out violence, you know, that just doesn't work. But when we really look at things in a loving way, in a compassionate way, we really can see the deeper thing going on. And usually it really is, a younger version of ourselves that is crying out for something that we need. Once we see that, you know, in adulthood, we can learn to give that to ourselves and not act out of just our woundedness, but start acting out from a place of knowing the truth of who we are and that we're powerful, amazing human beings and we always have the power to choose.
We hope our conversation today has offered valuable insights on your journey towards healing
>> Bailey Moreland: Thanks for joining us on another episode of from the holiday. We hope our conversation today has offered valuable insights on your journey towards healing and soul discovery. We'd love if you take a moment of your time to rate and review the podcast. This helps others who are on their healing journey find us. Also, stay connected with us on social media. You can find us on Instagram or Facebook, arm the number two souls, or visit our website at the www. Dot farm two Souls.com. as always, thank you for allowing us to be a part of your journey. Stay curious, stay open, and remember you're not alone on this path.
